Boundaries Exploration: Porous
There are three types of boundaries: Rigid, Porous and Healthy.
Folks with porous boundaries often have a hard time saying “no” and can get into situations that don’t feel good. When you compromise your values and boundaries it can cause your system to go haywire. You may feel stressed out or unable to consistently connect with friends and family.
While boundaries may not come naturally for many people, you can learn how to establish healthier boundaries and live a life that feels aligned with your values.
Identify your boundaries. Here’s an idea of the various categories to explore.
Emotional
Physical
Sexual
Time
Intellectual
Material
Financial
Stand firm and ask for your boundaries to be honored.
If you’ve been a person with porous boundaries, it can be particularly tough to practice holding them. People may challenge you or push back because they aren’t used to it. Here are a few examples of how to remain firm.
Time: “I won’t be staying late tonight. I plan to head out at 10.”
Request to do something you don’t want to do: “No thanks.”, “No.”, “I appreciate the offer. I’m good.”
Physical: “I prefer not to be touched. Please respect that.”
Emotional: “That’s not kind. I’m not ok with that.”
Material: “I’m sorry. I can’t let you borrow that.”
Implementing boundaries takes practice. Over time you’ll become more confident in assertively communicating your needs. You’ll be able to stop compromising yourself for others so you can live your best life
Setting boundaries will help you feel more connected with friends and family without losing yourself!
You got this!
